Misunderstandings, Meanings, and Self Esteem
November 20, 2006 · Print This Article
Originally posted at eMoms at Home:
I just received a scathing email from an old friend of mine - which really threw me off, because I wasn’t upset with her and didn’t think she was upset with me. Her email was filled with presuppositions and assumptions - things she had created in her head and believed to be true about a situation between her and a group of our friends. Yet as I read her words I was saddened to see all of the meanings she had attached to our actions. And I had to ask myself - if she had a higher self worth, could she have EVER made these assumptions about a group of friends that always has and always will love her?
It reminded me of a stark example I once saw about the meanings we attach to things - and how our interpretations can either empower us, or we can rip ourselves to pieces in the blink of an eye.
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Great site1!! Good Material!!!Could it be that the meaning was true, that the presuppositions had validity and were substantiated with facts? That there is alot of social proof? Not all information is revealed in every situation or correspondance. References that others have arent conveyed, but it certainly does not take away from the facts. Could it be that the person you are refering to has an even greater self esteem and WAS under attack and was not willing to engage in ineffective communication, or to deal with passive agressive behavior, or to be lied to, or that people misrepresented information,or that some are unwilling to accept appologies? Could it be that you may not have had all the information to see what was happening and the things were not just created in her head? Missunderstandings may just be that and not necessarily linked to self esteem in a negative way. The meaning associated to it could actually be a result of a higher self esteem- while alligning with those that vibrate at a higher level.
Absolutely, FantasticFriend, these things could all be true. And as a coach, I am charged with helping my clients move from the effect side of the equation to the cause side of the equation.
So if this friend were to ever reach out for help again, I would most certainly love to help her. The approach I would take would be in helping her to take responsibility for the Law of Attraction in effect in her life. No matter what is happening outside of herself, she is the one in the end who is responsible for what has happened to her. By looking within, and discovering her own patterns that have created and attracted this situation to her, and changing that pattern, she will inevitably change what happens around her.
The ‘facts’, ’social proof’, ‘attacks’ and ‘aggression’ are simply symptoms - they are not the problem.
A GREAT article by Joe Vitale for further reading on the subject can be found here.
I will always love my friend, and I will always see her as the shining light I know she is - a caring, energetic, amazing woman that was put on this earth to do GREAT things.