Misunderstandings, Meanings, and Self Esteem

Originally posted at eMoms at Home:
I just received a scathing email from an old friend of mine - which really threw me off, because I wasn’t upset with her and didn’t think she was upset with me. Her email was filled with presuppositions and assumptions - things she had created in her head and believed to be true about a situation between her and a group of our friends. Yet as I read her words I was saddened to see all of the meanings she had attached to our actions. And I had to ask myself - if she had a higher self worth, could she have EVER made these assumptions about a group of friends that always has and always will love her?

It reminded me of a stark example I once saw about the meanings we attach to things - and how our interpretations can either empower us, or we can rip ourselves to pieces in the blink of an eye.

Read more of Can Tiny Interactions have Big Consequences in your Business? 

Married to an Alcoholic :: Part 2

Read Part 1

When I made the decision to leave my husband AND quit my job in the same week, I think most of my friends thought I was nuts. I think some of them even thought I was being irresponsible by letting go of all of the things in my life that held the tiniest shred of security. I doubted myself like crazy:

Tonight I wish I had positive questions to share, or a good reframe up my sleeve for myself. To be frank, I just want to crawl into a hole and cry my eyes out. But even when I do that it makes me feel worse rather than better. Because in that ‘hole’ I look to everyone but myself to make me feel good and happy and I want anyone but me to take care of me. Thinking that way just feels like shit because it feeds into itself and makes me more helpless.

The ONLY reason I made the decision was because I absolutely knew with 100% certainty that my heart said this was the right course of action. I had absolutely nothing else to guide me:

My friend Alan is fond of saying that “The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of UNCERTAINTY you are willing to live with”. Well, I’m living with a lot of THAT and I’m praying it means a higher quality of life, because it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it.

But the point is, that no matter what is uncertain right now, and it’s a LOT, I AM certain of the fact that I am on the right path. I may end up changing course at some point, and that will be revealed to me at a later time. Now I need to trust myself, trust God, and believe in my heart. My heart has brought me to this moment, and my heart has never led me astray in the past. I MUST trust that what I am doing is for my highest good, even though I feel like I just jumped off of a cliff.

I know now in hindsight that it was the ONLY course of action that would get me what I wanted - but I had to let go of all of my ideas about how I “should” be getting what I wanted.

I can’t take credit for getting my husband sober. I can take credit for changing the patterns in our relationship. The three most important things I did were: [Read more]

Married to an Alcoholic :: Part 1

I painfully yet clearly remember the days when my husband was still drinking.

I was starting to become a true leader, my career (at that time, outside of the home) was skyrocketing, my relationship with my kids was getting more extraordinary every day, and people were looking to me for guidance and support.

In some ways, I felt like a fraud. Here I was, at the beginning seedling stages of launching my business in the self-help field, and I couldn’t seem to extract myself from my own unhealthy marriage. [Read more]

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