The Psychology of Losing Weight

Recently I was interviewed by Jill Koenig, the Goal Guru, for a new audio program she is putting together on health and weight loss. I don’t frequently talk about health and losing weight, because it isn’t really top of mind in my life.

Why? Because although I used to be 50 pounds overweight, I have lost that weight and kept it off for over 10 years. Honestly, I really don’t think about my weight at all anymore. And here’s my dirty little secret: I really don’t even exercise regularly (but don’t get me wrong, I am now a very active person and I hate to sit still).
At one point in my life, this would have seemed absolutely impossible. In fact, my relationship with food was so unhealthy that I felt that if I were to eat all that I really wanted, there wouldn’t be enough food on this planet for me to consume.

So how did I get here?

1. I learned to listen to myself
2. I found out what needs I was meeting my eating too much
3. I broke out of old patterns of behavior
4. I found new ways to meet those needs
5. I made peace with my body
6. My body made peace with me

This post will kick off a series covering the mind processes I went through to overcome all of my eating and weight issues for good. Yes, permanently.

If you want to lose weight permanently too, I would like to invite you to begin a shift in thinking about what it means to have a healthy body at your ideal weight. The weight is not the problem, the weight is a symptom of a problem.

So a diet, done correctly, still only manages the symptoms of being overweight. Until you explore and release the cause, the problem will reappear in your life over and over again.
Here are the first questions I will throw your way:

1. What benefits are you receiving from eating too much?
2. What benefits are you receiving from not exercising?
3. What benefits are you receiving from focusing on your weight instead of the inner pain that you are avoiding?

Now you may be wondering, “Benefits? Wendy, what are you talking about?!”

Everything we do, we do for a reason. So some potential answers could be:

1. I get to feel safe by stuffing my real emotions with food
2. I get to isolate myself with this bahavior and protect myself from getting hurt by others
3. I get to keep my mind occupied on my weight, while avoiding the real issues like my low self-worth, or feeling unlovable

If you came to me as a coach, or even as a friend, with a real desire to lose weight, I would go easy on you. I would be compassionate. You have probably beat yourself up on this subject for years, if not decades. I’m here to tell you that there is a real reason that the weight is there, and it’s actually serving a purpose.

The point is, once we uncover that purpose, we can then work on it, rather than on the weight. And just like with any issue in life, once the cause is gone, the symptom cannot exist.

Next time, we’ll talk about listening to ourselves. Until then, read Craig Harper’s take on the Psychology of Weight-Loss. Craig’s insights are super-valuable and he really practices what he preaches.